Resurgence

Note: there is relevance to this event to Who are the Monkeys

The way I experience traumatic pain, it will always have a remnant reminder, a revisiting, if something remotely harmful relative to the trauma-inducing event happens to invite it. The pain is immense, immeasurable, daunting and gut wrenching, often accompanied by the psychosomatic sense of being stabbed over and over, a betrayal never to be overcooked. The kind of pain that makes you wanna walk and never turn back. Abuse is a terrible thing to retain. I felt it yesterday. Its as if an accusation of theft invoked the actuation of theft in real life. And there is that overwhelming sense of hopeless vulnerability resurging. I don’t wish this pain on my worst enemy. After giving things a good reverberating natural cry, to my limiting phobia which can not be mistaken for pretext, i realized that a paralyzing phobia is always smarter than a death phase. I also realized the only crime surveillance cameras can’t get are those not committed by humans. Those committed by animals, monkeys for instance. Monkeys have a thing with not being seen as they are headless, heartless and savage. Do cameras catch those?

It’s crazy because you’ll never think they will be that dumb when they know how to look up and down, east and west while they eat their bananas. If you stole a penny from me and do not give it back, may to and your children suffer without resolve for the harm i never did and continue to suffer for. May your life in the end be worth no more than R.Kelly, Harvey Weinstein, P Diddy in the end or worse. That’s what evil, harmful people truly deserve. I don’t know how a noncriminal easy going victimized homeless woman’s prayer for life, love and justice could trigger a bout of intentional violence. So I say a most fervent prayer. May I find love, life and hope where least expected in my time of need. May all their evil and intent at harm go back to them. May justice in it’s truth in nature be found. And by the nature of my being, and the dictates of my mind, works of my hand and the dignity of my heart, let my good come back to me. Unless good is not my participating propensity in this world everyday. Amen. The injurious nature of evil, harm and wrongful persecution demands a good command of self-psychotherapy, resolution and determination against the odds. My readers, I will be releasing a sociopolitical essay on the nature of justice the release week for Step. Step release next Friday.

My readers, wherever you are in the world, I will never want to hide a book like CTTD in print versions behind some backdoor at a Bluesie jazz comedy fest. Do not make me something other than human and humane with my books. Give your support. CTTD has been a lesson in law. Justice must be achieved. Give your support and hold on to the relativity.