UNBELIEVABLE THINGS AND RAINFALLS INC!

My readers, so HURRICANE HARVEY has turned into a major RAINSTORM and its falling HARD. TEXANS, THE GATOR SQUAD SAYS, “IF YOU SEE A GATOR DURING THE STORM, AS LONG AS ITS NOT IN A ROAD OR KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR LEAVE IT BE ALONE UNTIL THE STORM.” It’s like RAINFALL INC down there. My readers in TEXAS, have you had one of those occurrences, you hear someone knock and OOPS there is a GATOR!? If you are as inferior, UNATTRACTIVE, and UNFORTUNATE woman such I am, you’ll hear two successive knocks, you’ll open the door and OOOPSIEDOOODOOODOOOL, there are two GATORS there just CHILLING. And after the STORM, OOOPSIEDOOODOOODOOOL, they’re still there! That’s why I can’t get a man, no doubt. I mean who gets over that and WHO YOU GON CALL TO HELP YOU!? I CAN’T MAKE THIS SHIT UP! I am utterly unattractive. No doubt.