IN WHAT I CALL THE BEST NEWS OF THE DAY MY READERS, THE POLICE NEED YOUR HELP. YEAH AGAIN. JUST WHEN YOU THINK PROGRESS CAN NOT GET ANY BETTER AFTER THE DEFECATION STORY, IT GETS MUCH BETTER __(DEFECATION STORY HERE). POLICE ARE LOOKING FOR A WOMAN WHO STOLE POT THAT WASHED UP ON THE BEACH. CRIMINALS. THEY ARE TOO AMAZING REALLY. THEY WANT YOU TO HELP THEM IDENTIFY THE WOMAN BECAUSE NASA, HARVARD, NEW YORK TIMES AND THE REST OF THE SMART PEOPLE COULDN’T SCIENCE FAILED WOEFULLY AND DISGUSTINGLY IN THEIR ATTEMPTS AT IDENTIFYING THE WOMAN. SCIENTISTS ARE JUST TOO DEGENERATIVELY DUMB REALLY. BUT IT IS NOT SO OFTEN THAT THERE IS A WANTED POSTER FOR SOMETHING SCIENCE FAILED AT SO I AM ARCHIVING THE EVENT. THE POLICE NEED YOUR HELP IDENTIFYING THIS WOMAN WHO STOLE POT THAT WASHED UP ON THE BEACH:
WHEN SCIENCE FAIL WOEFULLY
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