Too tired for lies (a wearied boredom story)…

You’re reading this because I’m bored. The mosquitoes around here have been quite naughty and have been biting me all winnie Nillie. So I figured it was inevitable that my immune system would succumb, eventually. I am beginning to feel it–tired and wearily distracted so I’m bored. And you pay the price with this silly read. I mean, who am I gonna talk to? Lend me your ears, I wanna whisper something true, something cruel…or not…listen…

Wearily, wearily I say unto you, being a lonely single woman sucks ass. Being celibate for too many years sucks shit ass and doesn’t help my sense of isolation and loneliness. Being an inferior, unattractive, unintelligent poor black woman such as I am with the expectation of a worthy man who’s not a thorough and bonafide idiot rather than an alien. My advice is , ‘don’t try this at home’. I am a victim of my own conservatism. And I won’t change it for the world. It is who I am after all, and I survived as I did regardless of the great odds, evil, harm, vile, prejudice, terrorism and and such. 

The music is fine. It is cathartic at all times as Hype&Remixes will be for instance. I feel like I am not working as I should on the books because of anxiety. A calmer environment will mean more productivity for books. Book writing for me is psychologically indulging, definitely cerebral and intellectual. Anxiety is a slight deterrent, not a huge one because I can always write. I am inevitably a thoughtful writer. I must think things through or reason and indulge in critical thinking. So anxiety does not help. Yet I do it. It’s my life. And how I communicate with the world. 

But in times like these I yearn for true friendships(as I had endured a great betrayal), or something worthwhile with great potential for longevity and loyalty. I have come a while from the great distrust but not too much. I do pray that my love comes to me as I deserve it. As he deserves it especially because that tells of him. I intend to love as best as I can. Compatibility matters. And there is no such thing until you know who you’re truly dealing with up close and personal. It’s crazy feeling overcrowded and loveless isn’t it my readers? Anyway, my readers just wanted to yarn a little. Thanks for being here.